The goodbyes begin. We say farewell to routine.
We quit our jobs.
We have mixed feelings about this.
Dave (Mr. Banh Mi) is thrilled. He is ready to go. Bags packed even. Time can’t move fast enough for him to be done with this chapter of our lives and get going already.
I (Kat /Mrs Banh Mi) am excited for the trip, but also cried my eyes out after our largest fundraiser of the year. C-R-I-E-D. A board member hugged me and he lost it. I lost it. We cried. A donor bought me a present. I cried. I had a glass of wine. I cried. We uber-ed home. I cried.
It was a hot mess. Unglamorous. Lots of runny eye makeup.
I think I cried because while yes, I like my job, change is hard and saying goodbye isn’t something I’ve learned to be good at. I am fortunate to have my life full of an amazing cast of characters. In fact, my job isn’t really just a job. It’s a lifestyle. You adapt to widening your social circle for professional reasons which start professionally and become personal. You adapt to life where your suitcase is always on the floor and you are in various stages of packing, unpacking, and repacking. You adapt to the vodka and M&Ms diet, then reject it for the oatmeal and airport salad diet, only to reject that for the secret mcdonalds after landing eaten shamefully in large sunglasses. You adapt until it’s just life and if it’s just life, it’s probably time to move on.
I think I also cried because this was the beginning of the end. I had been moving along until October 6th as a mile marker in this journey. It was a sprint from mid-August until last weekend for work and I was happy to have some time to decompress. So I decompressed and then I saw people I enjoy for the last time and then all of a sudden I had room to process what leaving really means. We’ve been preparing for this trip for years. Dreaming for three. Saving for two. Planning for one. I have a packing list. We’ve thought of just about everything: health needs, door stoppers, headlamps, itineraries, insurance, you name it. We’ve read blogs, travel sites, magazines, guidebooks.
However, for everything to be HERE. RIGHT NOW. Is precisely what we have not prepared for. Nothing we read on the internet can prepare us for leaving our friends and the only city we’ve ever really been remotely grown up. The emotions of saying goodbye to a place I have lived for 12 years are tough when that’s all you’ve known as home. Home is the the friends in this town as a freshman in college. Home are the co-worker friends turned real friends turned urban family that I’ve depended upon. Home became the work and volunteer colleagues who have fed me, drank with me, gossiped with me, sold t-shirts with me, schemed with me– it’s just all very overwhelming for this to be coming to an end of an era. I’m sad to see it go, but I’m trying to honor this time in the moment and appreciate all the emotion. How lucky am I to have been here this long, living this life? Pretty damn lucky. I’m also lucky for the ability to be able to move onward to the next phase, too. The dumpling/snorkling/beaching/wai-ing/temple-ing/noodling phase 🙂